Just Kidding!

The material on this page has been collated from a variety of places. the actual sources are not always available, but such as they are, can be found at the bottom of this page.

 

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email.” — 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord’s Prayer

 

“TNT.” — Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word “dynamite.”

                                   Term dictionary

Parents’ Dictionary of Meanings

DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you’re mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house

You Know You’ve Turned Into a Mom When…

• You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

• You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.

• You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!

• You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

• You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.

• You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.

• You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, “Mom, why don’t you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?”

• You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you’ve reached over and started to cut up his steak!

sources: http://www.ahajokes.com/par034.html